I am in the Singapore airport and they have free internet! We leave for Bangkok in about an hour. It is has been an interesting 24 hours or so here. What a clean, beautiful city. We left home on Tuesday and lost Wednesday in the air. Yesterday we took a city tour and enjoyed a magnificent orchid garden, floating along a waterfront in a small boat, and going to an old Chinese temple--we are definitely in Asia. This is the first chance we've had to check e-mail. Still no word on our adoption. I really don't expect anything for awhile since they know we've left the country now. There are so many adorable chinese children everywhere.
We are having a wonderful time and it's still too early to miss anything about home. I can't wait to get to Bangkok. I've always wanted to go back after spending a day there in high school--it just wasn't enough time.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
It's now 10:30 pm and we've been working hard all day trying to get ready to go--there has been so much to do! We finished packing around 4:30 and have been cleaning and organizing ever since. I'm thrilled I won't be up until 2:00 am this time stuffing things into the suitcase, too tired to care anymore. We haven't heard a thing from Laura so it looks like we'll get a referral when we get back. Fortunately it's been a very busy day. I was a little curious each time the phone rang this evening, but I really didn't think it would happen before we left. All is well. It will happen when it's supposed to. I need to make sure I pack a family picture right now. . .I'll want to look at our sweet little kids while we're gone. I know it will be fun and very interesting, but knowing me, I'll probably be ready to come home after 2 weeks--a week before we're scheduled to return. I'm the one who pushed to do the 7-day Thailand and Singapore extension, so I have only myself to blame. This will be a once-in-a-lifetime chance to have this kind of experience with my parents so it will be well worth it. I'll be glad we went for it!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
I couldn't help trying to be prepared. I realized that if the referral happened to come in (even though the chance is remote), and I didn't have a contingency plan for Memorial Day, (when banks will be closed) we'd lose the baby. I sent the e-mail below to our agency director 2 days ago when I thought about it and knew, that even though I was feeling peaceful, we still needed to be prepared. What if I'm just peaceful because it's going to work out. . .BEFORE we go??!! I am truly fine with whichever way it works. . .as long as we don't lose the baby we're given. THAT would be hard to see a photo and read about her, know she could have been ours, and then lose her because we're getting on a plane too soon leaving us short on time to do the needed paperwork.
Laura,
Even though it's a REALLY slim chance that a referral will come in before we go, I've gone ahead and called our neighbor who happens to be a notary at the Bank of American Fork. She will bring her stuff home over the weekend in case we have a "notary emergency" on Memorial Day or the following morning. Even if a referral comes in in the middle of the night, like 3:00 am on Tues. the 29th, will you please call us right then--we're used to the crazy hours of labor. She said to call anytime and she'd get us taken care of before we step on the plane. We don't have to be at the airport until 9:00 am that morning for our 11:00 am flight.
Just trying to be prepared for the 1% chance :)
Thanks,
Julianna
I called my "notary neighbor," Barb, while she was at work on Friday. She hadn't heard anything about a baby, just that we were leaving for China on Tuesday. She was so surprised and very excited for us. She said she'd love to help us, whatever the hour. . . huge relief!
I had forgotten after fixing our notary issue, that we want a pediatrician to look at the medical information before we accept--just to be safe. What doctor's office is open for regular business on Memorial Day? I called our regular doctor 2 weeks ago to see what they would do if we did happen to call on this holiday--he told the nurse we could speak with whomever is on call. I would hate to have a doctor that we don't even know pulled away from a family party on Memorial Day to look over our papers. Then I remembered that Howard's uncle is a fantastic pediatrician! Why hadn't I thought of him before? I guess because he has just moved to our state in the last couple of years and isn't our doctor due to proximity. Of course we could call him on Memorial Day, no problem! I would prefer to have him look at our papers anyway--he will be more interested in helping since this baby will be joining HIS family! I'm glad inconvenience forced me into remembering him. If it's not this month, I'll call him the next!
I received this e-mail back from Laura last night:
This plan should work fine if we receive referral information and contracts before the 29th. We've notified St. Lucy's of your plans and hoped that they might move along a little more quickly.
Have a great weekend,
Laura
I appreciate Laura's extra efforts to do all she can in helping this referral to happen. If they can't get our referral before we go, at least I know we've done everything possible. It would be so nice if they decide it would just be easier to finalize our match a few days earlier than they would have! (Laura thinks it will be coming this week, anyway, but probably not until later.) Fortunately for us, tomorrow we'll be crazy busy trying to clean the house and finish packing. I really don't think it will come. But now I can sit back and relax if it doesn't come in, knowing that next month will be just as exciting. I've been saying for a few weeks, "Boy, it sure would be nice to spread out a little of this excitement rather than having it all at once." I guess I'll just get my wish by having something to look forward to after returning from a wonderful vacation.
Laura,
Even though it's a REALLY slim chance that a referral will come in before we go, I've gone ahead and called our neighbor who happens to be a notary at the Bank of American Fork. She will bring her stuff home over the weekend in case we have a "notary emergency" on Memorial Day or the following morning. Even if a referral comes in in the middle of the night, like 3:00 am on Tues. the 29th, will you please call us right then--we're used to the crazy hours of labor. She said to call anytime and she'd get us taken care of before we step on the plane. We don't have to be at the airport until 9:00 am that morning for our 11:00 am flight.
Just trying to be prepared for the 1% chance :)
Thanks,
Julianna
I called my "notary neighbor," Barb, while she was at work on Friday. She hadn't heard anything about a baby, just that we were leaving for China on Tuesday. She was so surprised and very excited for us. She said she'd love to help us, whatever the hour. . . huge relief!
I had forgotten after fixing our notary issue, that we want a pediatrician to look at the medical information before we accept--just to be safe. What doctor's office is open for regular business on Memorial Day? I called our regular doctor 2 weeks ago to see what they would do if we did happen to call on this holiday--he told the nurse we could speak with whomever is on call. I would hate to have a doctor that we don't even know pulled away from a family party on Memorial Day to look over our papers. Then I remembered that Howard's uncle is a fantastic pediatrician! Why hadn't I thought of him before? I guess because he has just moved to our state in the last couple of years and isn't our doctor due to proximity. Of course we could call him on Memorial Day, no problem! I would prefer to have him look at our papers anyway--he will be more interested in helping since this baby will be joining HIS family! I'm glad inconvenience forced me into remembering him. If it's not this month, I'll call him the next!
I received this e-mail back from Laura last night:
This plan should work fine if we receive referral information and contracts before the 29th. We've notified St. Lucy's of your plans and hoped that they might move along a little more quickly.
Have a great weekend,
Laura
I appreciate Laura's extra efforts to do all she can in helping this referral to happen. If they can't get our referral before we go, at least I know we've done everything possible. It would be so nice if they decide it would just be easier to finalize our match a few days earlier than they would have! (Laura thinks it will be coming this week, anyway, but probably not until later.) Fortunately for us, tomorrow we'll be crazy busy trying to clean the house and finish packing. I really don't think it will come. But now I can sit back and relax if it doesn't come in, knowing that next month will be just as exciting. I've been saying for a few weeks, "Boy, it sure would be nice to spread out a little of this excitement rather than having it all at once." I guess I'll just get my wish by having something to look forward to after returning from a wonderful vacation.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Since the initial disappointment of Tuesday evening's phone call, I have felt nothing but great peace since waking up the next morning. The peace is so calming and confirming that I feel it is being given from a higher source. He is in control. I am no longer worried about the timing or perhaps getting a different child now than we would have. He is the only one who has all the answers and I just need to trust that He is taking care of things the way they are meant to work out. We step on a plane in 4 days so this is a great blessing to be able to focus on getting ready to go! After having this trip on the calendar for 9 months, it is amazing how quickly it has come. Going to pick up our child in Taiwan will come in the same way. It seems like forever away now, but one day soon we will find ourselves getting packed to go to Asia again. . .this time to bring home our 6th child!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
May 22, 2007
Well, I just had a rather disappointing phone call with Laura, our agency director. She informed me that there is no way we can authenticate and notarize documents while we are in Asia. The government organizations in both the US and Taiwan will not recognize them unless they are signed in our home state. This is unfortunate for us. She also doesn't think they will hold on to our referral for 3 1/2 weeks until we get home. I can understand this. They need to keep things moving there. She said the nursery is so full at St. Lucy's they have to turn birth mothers away at this point.
Our paperwork went to Taiwan last week. She said they have 6 babies to be matched in this month's batch. The paperwork for a group of families ahead of us in line went one week before ours and they still haven't heard anything about their being matched. That puts ours off at least until next week at the earliest. We step out the door one week from today at 7:30 am. It is highly unlikely that we will hear anything before then. Once we are on the plane heading east, there is nothing we can do. Laura said, "our hands are tied."
In anticipation of my 9:00 pm phone call with Laura this evening, I spent the morning trying to get information on the U.S. Embassies in every country we are visiting and checking to see when we will possibly have any free time in our schedule to take a taxi to one of them to get papers notarized. Beijing on May 8th looked like the best possibility, we would be just blocks from the embassy touring Tienamann Square.
Since coming up with that perfect solution, Laura specifically talked to the people at one of the government agencies who said if we were adopting a child from China, this would work fine. We would just have to also get an apostille. However, Taiwan and China aren't exactly on friendly terms, so this wouldn't work at all. I knew it wasn't worth pursuing Bangkok or Hong Kong because of what she said. I also would have had to make an appointment in Hong Kong which would have been rather difficult without knowing exactly when we could come.
Part of me says it's nice we can leave and not worry about paperwork while we're gone. But the biggest part of me feels sad that we will probably lose the referral we would have received this month because of this trip. Howard says, "If we lose this baby because of our trip, this baby wasn't meant to be ours." I have to believe this or I would go crazy thinking our family has been changed forever with the wrong child because we decided to go on a really long vacation.
It is now 11:00 pm and I'm higher than a kite--our phone call ended at 9:20. I'm sort of in shock and just trying to process all the feelings of disappointment and confusion I'm experiencing.
Our application my simply go back into the pile until next month. Laura's really not sure what will happen. I asked her to please update me via e-mail to Howard's computer (which he is taking with us). Even if we do get skipped this month, it will just be nice to know what is going on. I was sure hoping that this 3 1/2 weeks would be a wonderful way to pass the approximate 1/4 of our wait to get through the courts! Oh well. Nothing we can do.
I had felt such an urgency initially to get our paperwork completed and turned in. In fact, I'm just remembering now that we were in Disneyland over Thanksgiving when I was trying to get our approved homestudy, with corrections made, sent to our social worker. She would then make minor corrections and mail it to Laura so we could get on the waiting list.
I learned a week later, after several attempts from the hotel, that my attachment with the changes hadn't been sent properly--our social worker hadn't received word that things looked good and to go ahead and make the minor changes and send the final copy to Laura. I finally got an e-mail from our social worker, the following week wondering what had happened. She knew I'd been in such a hurry. Then and only then did I know that I had blown it. This cost us a week or so in getting on the waiting list. I'm putting two-and-two together here--vacations and adoption paperwork has not mixed well for us at all!
My advice to anyone trying to adopt would be--stay home! However, you can't put your life on hold "in case your turn comes up." We discussed this whole possibility last Fall when we signed up for this trip. We were told it would be about a 6 month wait which was exactly when we would be leaving. However, I never really thought they'd collide head-on. I also thought that there would be a way to solve the problem if they did happen at the same time. I had no idea how complex all of this paperwork can be and how particular they are about where and how things are signed and documented.
Going back to the urgency issue. Just weeks after we turned in our paperwork around Nov. 29-Dec. 1, China announced it would crack down on its adoption policies, making it more difficult to adopt a child from China. Suddenly our agency was flooded with calls and applications. We were just ahead of the rush. We had done our homework, and with 5 biological children at home, we could only qualify for special needs China. It was rapidly becoming apparent that we would have gotten a true special needs child going this route, not just a birth mark or large mole. I didn't feel like I could handle a child with a missing limb or a serious health concern. Our social worker also wouldn't approve us for anyone but a healthy child. Taiwan felt like the right way to go for us since they did not have a limit on family size--we could apply for a healthy baby. However, had we waited to apply until the rush was on, we probably would have been turned away for anyone but an older child. I do hope that all who desire parenthood can have this great blessing. We each apply to adopt where we feed guided to do so. We felt guided to Taiwan in an urgent sort of way.
Laura said because we are early enough in the pile, we are probably ok, but she really isn't sure what St. Lucy's will do with a family our size. She said Chung Yi has no family-size requirements but St. Lucy's prefers smaller families. She said they may skip over us anyway and go to a smaller family further down in the pile. I can understand if they do that. I would not blame them at all. I would be happy for any couple who gets a beautiful child. I just hope that we will get the right child when we are meant to get her. This is going to take more patience than I had originally thought it would, however. It's impossible to look down the adoption path and know where it will lead you or what mountains you will be asked to climb. I only know that those who have made it to the top say it is worth every step!
I thought we were getting a pretty good idea of when our referral would come. This was a great feeling! Now we have no idea again. I've always loved the anticipation of an event--let's just say I'll get to stay in this phase longer than I want to. I'll be ready to move beyond it when we finally can do so.
Last week my husband and I were out and about when an acquaintance walked into the room at 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. I was so happy for her. I found myself giving her a big congratulatory hug and then was embarrassed and surprised when I burst into tears all over her. I told her she should be so glad she knows she'll be having it in the next week. I'm having a baby but have NO IDEA when! It's really weird. This is still plenty emotional. . .thank you very much! I feel like I could run 5 miles right now and it's almost midnight.
Well, I just had a rather disappointing phone call with Laura, our agency director. She informed me that there is no way we can authenticate and notarize documents while we are in Asia. The government organizations in both the US and Taiwan will not recognize them unless they are signed in our home state. This is unfortunate for us. She also doesn't think they will hold on to our referral for 3 1/2 weeks until we get home. I can understand this. They need to keep things moving there. She said the nursery is so full at St. Lucy's they have to turn birth mothers away at this point.
Our paperwork went to Taiwan last week. She said they have 6 babies to be matched in this month's batch. The paperwork for a group of families ahead of us in line went one week before ours and they still haven't heard anything about their being matched. That puts ours off at least until next week at the earliest. We step out the door one week from today at 7:30 am. It is highly unlikely that we will hear anything before then. Once we are on the plane heading east, there is nothing we can do. Laura said, "our hands are tied."
In anticipation of my 9:00 pm phone call with Laura this evening, I spent the morning trying to get information on the U.S. Embassies in every country we are visiting and checking to see when we will possibly have any free time in our schedule to take a taxi to one of them to get papers notarized. Beijing on May 8th looked like the best possibility, we would be just blocks from the embassy touring Tienamann Square.
Since coming up with that perfect solution, Laura specifically talked to the people at one of the government agencies who said if we were adopting a child from China, this would work fine. We would just have to also get an apostille. However, Taiwan and China aren't exactly on friendly terms, so this wouldn't work at all. I knew it wasn't worth pursuing Bangkok or Hong Kong because of what she said. I also would have had to make an appointment in Hong Kong which would have been rather difficult without knowing exactly when we could come.
Part of me says it's nice we can leave and not worry about paperwork while we're gone. But the biggest part of me feels sad that we will probably lose the referral we would have received this month because of this trip. Howard says, "If we lose this baby because of our trip, this baby wasn't meant to be ours." I have to believe this or I would go crazy thinking our family has been changed forever with the wrong child because we decided to go on a really long vacation.
It is now 11:00 pm and I'm higher than a kite--our phone call ended at 9:20. I'm sort of in shock and just trying to process all the feelings of disappointment and confusion I'm experiencing.
Our application my simply go back into the pile until next month. Laura's really not sure what will happen. I asked her to please update me via e-mail to Howard's computer (which he is taking with us). Even if we do get skipped this month, it will just be nice to know what is going on. I was sure hoping that this 3 1/2 weeks would be a wonderful way to pass the approximate 1/4 of our wait to get through the courts! Oh well. Nothing we can do.
I had felt such an urgency initially to get our paperwork completed and turned in. In fact, I'm just remembering now that we were in Disneyland over Thanksgiving when I was trying to get our approved homestudy, with corrections made, sent to our social worker. She would then make minor corrections and mail it to Laura so we could get on the waiting list.
I learned a week later, after several attempts from the hotel, that my attachment with the changes hadn't been sent properly--our social worker hadn't received word that things looked good and to go ahead and make the minor changes and send the final copy to Laura. I finally got an e-mail from our social worker, the following week wondering what had happened. She knew I'd been in such a hurry. Then and only then did I know that I had blown it. This cost us a week or so in getting on the waiting list. I'm putting two-and-two together here--vacations and adoption paperwork has not mixed well for us at all!
My advice to anyone trying to adopt would be--stay home! However, you can't put your life on hold "in case your turn comes up." We discussed this whole possibility last Fall when we signed up for this trip. We were told it would be about a 6 month wait which was exactly when we would be leaving. However, I never really thought they'd collide head-on. I also thought that there would be a way to solve the problem if they did happen at the same time. I had no idea how complex all of this paperwork can be and how particular they are about where and how things are signed and documented.
Going back to the urgency issue. Just weeks after we turned in our paperwork around Nov. 29-Dec. 1, China announced it would crack down on its adoption policies, making it more difficult to adopt a child from China. Suddenly our agency was flooded with calls and applications. We were just ahead of the rush. We had done our homework, and with 5 biological children at home, we could only qualify for special needs China. It was rapidly becoming apparent that we would have gotten a true special needs child going this route, not just a birth mark or large mole. I didn't feel like I could handle a child with a missing limb or a serious health concern. Our social worker also wouldn't approve us for anyone but a healthy child. Taiwan felt like the right way to go for us since they did not have a limit on family size--we could apply for a healthy baby. However, had we waited to apply until the rush was on, we probably would have been turned away for anyone but an older child. I do hope that all who desire parenthood can have this great blessing. We each apply to adopt where we feed guided to do so. We felt guided to Taiwan in an urgent sort of way.
Laura said because we are early enough in the pile, we are probably ok, but she really isn't sure what St. Lucy's will do with a family our size. She said Chung Yi has no family-size requirements but St. Lucy's prefers smaller families. She said they may skip over us anyway and go to a smaller family further down in the pile. I can understand if they do that. I would not blame them at all. I would be happy for any couple who gets a beautiful child. I just hope that we will get the right child when we are meant to get her. This is going to take more patience than I had originally thought it would, however. It's impossible to look down the adoption path and know where it will lead you or what mountains you will be asked to climb. I only know that those who have made it to the top say it is worth every step!
I thought we were getting a pretty good idea of when our referral would come. This was a great feeling! Now we have no idea again. I've always loved the anticipation of an event--let's just say I'll get to stay in this phase longer than I want to. I'll be ready to move beyond it when we finally can do so.
Last week my husband and I were out and about when an acquaintance walked into the room at 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. I was so happy for her. I found myself giving her a big congratulatory hug and then was embarrassed and surprised when I burst into tears all over her. I told her she should be so glad she knows she'll be having it in the next week. I'm having a baby but have NO IDEA when! It's really weird. This is still plenty emotional. . .thank you very much! I feel like I could run 5 miles right now and it's almost midnight.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
It has been nearly 5 1/2 months since we turned in our papers and were officially accepted by the Families for Children Taiwan Adoption Program as a waiting family. Is this when I can say we officially became pregnant? I'm never sure how the adoption timetable compares with a biological pregnancy. Having no timetable whatsoever, nothing to count on, no real evidence that our paperwork has gotten us any closer to a baby. . . is a whole new experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining that I haven't gained the typical 35 pounds by now! However, what do I have to show for it? Nothing! Will all of this emotional energy drain really lead to a child?
We could be hearing any day now who this mystery baby is. . .but again. . .it could be several more months. We were told in March that we would likely be matched in the next 60 days--that deadline came and went 2 days ago. The anticipation is great, the frustation of no sure answers causes emotional shut-down at times. Then a new days brings new hope and new ability to cope with the unknown. Just be patient. It will happen when the time is right. . .when the child is right.
Waiting wouldn't be as difficult if we weren't leaving in 3 weeks for nearly a month. We are going to fly right over our dear baby but our destination is Hong Kong, instead. She won't know we are even remotely close--but I will! Will I fly over and know who is down there waiting? Or will we still be holding in this pattern of anticipation to see her little face and know who our Lillian really is.
If we know before we go, it will be so much easier! Otherwise I'm faced with trying to be in the right place at the right time to receive the right e-mail about this "right" child. What if we are in the highlands of Thailand when they try to contact us? How will we communicate from a remote village where we have to ride elephants to even get there? Singapore is modern, perhaps we will be contacted in Singapore. . .that shouldn't be hard. And China. . .I know very little about this massive mother country of Taiwan. Can we receive an e-mail while floating down the Yangtze river? Hmmmmmmmm. My stress mounts as I wait and wonder. What happens if they have our referral but can't communicate with us? Will the "right" baby be given to another loving family, equally deserving, equally anxious? We are all together in this adoption experience, aren't we?!
Of course the referral can't come before we leave. . .that would be too easy. Then again, maybe it won't come while we are gone. . . . Maybe our referral won't arrive until way past the 6 month mark we were originally given as an approximate window. But not hearing during our travels in Asia will make me worry we've somehow missed it! How can I relax?! I have to!!!!!
We could be hearing any day now who this mystery baby is. . .but again. . .it could be several more months. We were told in March that we would likely be matched in the next 60 days--that deadline came and went 2 days ago. The anticipation is great, the frustation of no sure answers causes emotional shut-down at times. Then a new days brings new hope and new ability to cope with the unknown. Just be patient. It will happen when the time is right. . .when the child is right.
Waiting wouldn't be as difficult if we weren't leaving in 3 weeks for nearly a month. We are going to fly right over our dear baby but our destination is Hong Kong, instead. She won't know we are even remotely close--but I will! Will I fly over and know who is down there waiting? Or will we still be holding in this pattern of anticipation to see her little face and know who our Lillian really is.
If we know before we go, it will be so much easier! Otherwise I'm faced with trying to be in the right place at the right time to receive the right e-mail about this "right" child. What if we are in the highlands of Thailand when they try to contact us? How will we communicate from a remote village where we have to ride elephants to even get there? Singapore is modern, perhaps we will be contacted in Singapore. . .that shouldn't be hard. And China. . .I know very little about this massive mother country of Taiwan. Can we receive an e-mail while floating down the Yangtze river? Hmmmmmmmm. My stress mounts as I wait and wonder. What happens if they have our referral but can't communicate with us? Will the "right" baby be given to another loving family, equally deserving, equally anxious? We are all together in this adoption experience, aren't we?!
Of course the referral can't come before we leave. . .that would be too easy. Then again, maybe it won't come while we are gone. . . . Maybe our referral won't arrive until way past the 6 month mark we were originally given as an approximate window. But not hearing during our travels in Asia will make me worry we've somehow missed it! How can I relax?! I have to!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)